Friday, September 6, 2019

Finding My Self Worth

I hope you all have been enjoying your summer here in the northern hemisphere. It's crazy to think that the long summer nights, lightning bugs and wearing flip flops almost everyday is coming to an end, and being replaced by nice afternoons, and the crisp nights of fall. All while wearing our favorite sweaters and hoodies.

I'm not sure what your summer all entailed, but mine focused on improving my mindset. Ten years ago I went through a huge mindset shift. I was super depressed and didn't think highly of myself. I had zero self esteem and was conforming to what was considered "normal" and was doing what everyone thought you had to do to make it in this world. I went to college. Got a "real" job, and worked in corporate America for over five years. Miserable and wondering what the point of life really was, when I was 27 or 28 I started group coaching sessions that eventually moved to personal life coaching sessions. Before then, I saw therapists and physiologist and not seeing results or feeling like they were listening to me, I felt stuck. This doesn't mean they aren't helpful and aren't great at their jobs. I now know that that avenue wasn't right for me. Just like everything in this world isn't right for everyone.

Anyways, to get back on track, it was when an old coworker emailed me that she was becoming a life coach, and was looking for people to help her practice her skills that I found what I was looking for. She was the life coach I first started seeing that opened the door to my mental wellbeing. I am so grateful I found what I needed in life coaching. It did in fact transform my life. Life coaching helped me work through years of bottled up feelings, depression, feelings of worthlessness and wanting to kill myself. The group coaching sessions, followed by years of one-on-one coaching were what gave me my ever growing confidence and feeling comfortable in my own skin and my continuous growth of my own self worth.

What the great thing is, I am continuing to grow every day and every year. Here I am, ten years after I started on my journey to my mental wellbeing, and even though I had a year hiatus from coaching, I felt like and do feel I am ready for more.

This summer I worked hard on my self worth and focused on my financial worth as well. I have made so many big strides in my life. The area too my life and money, I feel has fallen behind and has been stuck in quick sand. When I feel I'm making it out, I get sucked back down, and any sudden movements are going to suck me down even further.

I have been reading self help books around money. "You Are A Badass At Making Money," by Jen Sincero has been my bible. I also took her online course and focused on improving my money mindset which was worth every penny. I will admit, I didn't reach my financial goal that I made at the beginning of the course, but my money mindset transformed so much and this course and book jumpstarted all the hard work I have done and continue to do.

Jen Sincero led me to reading more self help books, but what I am so grateful for, and what has really been a godsend, was finding Kathrin Zenkina and Manifestation Babe. I love her authenticity and her wisdom and honesty. When I was taking Jen's digital course, I was looking for ways to grow my mindset outside of just reading books. I thought what would be another avenue? That's when I considered podcasts. I knew I could listen to these in the car, which I drive around a lot for work, so that time is perfect. I started listening to a few different mindset podcasts, trying to find the right one, when I came across the Manifestation Babe podcast. Her subject matter focuses around money. What I didn't realize was my beliefs around money and myself (which I have been working on forever), and this podcast made me realize I still have more digging to do about myself and my beliefs about me, in order to improve my money beliefs!

I know I still have a ways to go. But these past three months focusing on improving my thoughts around money have made a difference. My thoughts have changed for the better and when I hear people I know (or don't know) talk about money, or not even money, just everyday things, it made me see and realize how the words I say shape my life. I didn't realize my words were still negative and were then creating that same negativity or lack in those areas. I guess looking back I did to an extent, but all the work I did in the summer made me understand how my thoughts and what I said affected my reality with money and other areas too.

I am finding it funny in a way. All those years I worked on making myself better with group and life coaching, I am seeing that the work I am doing on my money mindset is the same. It all comes back to how you feel about yourself, your self worth and if you do in fact deserve to have financial abundance. Looking back over the past ten years, with all the growth I did make and obstacles I had to overcome, my life journey is never over. There is still personal growth that can be done. Layers that still need to be removed to become your best self.

These past three months I have uncovered so much about myself and what's been holding me back in this department of financial abundance. I have laughed, cried and gone duh! Why didn't that click before! But everything happens for a reason, and the Universe, or Higher Being, God, whatever your beliefs are, have had my back. They always have. Like with my road to self discover a decade ago, I had to be open to the signals. I had to take my blinders off in order to see them. Every day I work to remove the limiting beliefs that have been holding me back. I can't wait to see where this journey to financial discovery is going to take me. One thing I do know, is it's going to be epic.